


Don't Pretend It Doesn't Hurt

by memoryrebel



Category: Avengers
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoryrebel/pseuds/memoryrebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark had always hidden things about his past from his friends and his team, not even Pepper knew. He should've known better than to leave those old videos out in plain sight when he was re-organizing. But, he had, and now they all know, and there's no turning back now. He has to decide, face them and let them know that he's okay, or hide from them until it's forgotten. Either way, it would be a lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what made me do this to poor Tony, but this is my first fanfic, and its been bugging me for a while now. Please let me know what you guys think.  
> By the way, I own nothing. If I did I wouldn't be writing fanfiction for you people right now, now would I?

They were all sitting around in the living room, bored out of their mind. It was movie night, and Tony's turn to pick, but he wasn't around. They couldn't find him. He had left the tower earlier, looking rather upset and in a hurry, so they had chosen to leave him alone. So, since Tony wasn't around for his turn, they were arguing over the movie to watch.

"I do not understand why we cannot watch Finding Nemo." Thor said in his loud booming voice.

"Because, it always makes you bawl your eyes out, and it's a kid movie!" Clint argued back.

"But I have been told it's a classi-"

He was interupted by Natasha throwing her shoe and hitting him in the shoulder, "Shut up." she said when they both looked to her, "Lets all agree on a movie. Okay?"

Clint sighed and walked to the bar in the back of the room, "I'm thirsty, anybody else? No? Good."

He made it to the bar and went around the back, he was looking around for some whiskey, when a brown cardboard box under the bar with big letters saying "BURN!" violently written on it caught his eye. He grabbed the box and set on top the counter, with a slight bang. Steve, Banner, Tasha, and Thor turned to look at him. He opened the box and inside he found a bunch of cassette tapes, "What the fuck is this?"

"Clint." Natasha called, making him look up, "That is not a drink."

"I know guys, but videos!" He held up a tape, "We were looking for something to watch, why not this?"

"He clearly doesn't want anybody seeing it. He wrote burn on the box, and was hiding it. He could be back any minute we shouldn't watch those." Steve injected.

"Come on guys. Just one." Clint pleaded.

"Does he even have the righ player for that?" Bruce asked.

The high tech house probably did not have the outdated technology to be watching cassette tapes, but with Tony you never know. Clint shrugged, and went out of the room. He came back a few minutes later with none other than a cassette player. It had been hard to find, but he was still surprised Tony had one at all in his home, considering how much he frowned on outdated technology. He set it down in front of the television, that was actually a projection screen on the wall.

"Clint, this is an invasion of privacy." Natasha said sternly.

"That's what we do for a living Tash." Clint defended.

She was quiet for a second before she gave a huff and plopped onto the couch. She could've argued with that, but didn't want to bother. She didn't want to justify them being spied by arguing, because she knew it was wrong, but it was her life, so if Clint wanted to use special skills he had on watching a little home video then she wouldn't stop him. He pulled a tape out of the box, and slid it into the player. The room went black as the projector turned on. He plopped onto the couch beside Natasha. Steve was on the other side of Natasha and Thor was in the chair that Tony usually sat in, rather than the floor. Then, the video began.

The screen lightened, and what was shown was probably the most adorable thing they had ever seen. It was what looked to be a five year old Tony, running around what must've been his father's lab. The kid grabbed a wrench off the table, he had to get on his tiptoes to reach, then ran across the lab and started working on what looked like a heap of metal. There was a man, that must have been Howard, working in the corner of the room, seemingly ignoring his son and the person with the camera. The camera moved closer to the young boy and a woman's voice asked, "What are you working on sweetie pie?"

Baby Tony looked up and smiled, "A robot."

"How's it gonna work?"

"I'm gonna connect this wire to the central circuit board, it'll need about 20 gigawatts to run, and then it can help me clean my room."

"That'll be good." She laughed,"Because you never do it by yourself."

Tony giggled, "Now go," he said, suddenly serious, "I am working. Nobody can be in here when we are working, right dad?"

The kid turned his head toward the man working in the corner, and when he got no response, his face fell slightly.

"Well sweetie, you need a documentor don't you? To track your progress?"

Tony didn't look up at her, just kept looking at his work, screwing things in place and other mechanical things. They heard Tony's mother sigh, and then the camers clicked off.

"He was so adorable." Natasha said, "What the hell happened?"

Bruce chuckled as the video came back on. It was Tony, a little older, probably seven. He was again working, but this time on something a little bigger and less messy. The boy didn't look up when the camera had come into the room.

"Tony, are you okay?" What must have been his mother's voice asked.

The boy just nodded, still not looking up. He titlted his head at his creation then threw the rachet he was holding across the room, and put his face in his hands. His mother set the camera  down on a table, and sat down next to him, and pulled Tony onto her lap, "What's wrong?"

The kid looked up at his mother and then back down again. She smoothed his shaggy brown hair back, and kissed his forehead.

"Did he hit you again?" She asked quietly. The little kid nodded shyly, and his mother sighed, "He shouldn't do that Tony."

"But he did." He muttered quietly.

"I'll talk to him." She said, "Can I help you with your robot?"

Tony smiled slightly, and now they could see there was a bruise just under his left eye and his cheeks were wet with tears, then he nodded.

Then the mother and son worked on a little robot, that was so complex that the people watching the video knew they would never understand how any of what the child was explaining to his other would work. The battery on the camera must've died because the video abruptly.

Everyone was silent this time. Then the video came back on,Maria walking down a hall, she rounded a corner, and there was a ten year old Tony, he was sitting on a stool writing something. He had bruises on the arm they could see, and a nasty cut on his forehead. They heard the camera holder sigh and then the camera clicked off again. Again everyone was silent as the video switched again. The camera holder was walking down the hallway again, she was heading into a room it looked like. The door was open slightly and she slowed her step when the camera picked up noise coming from the room. She stopped just outside the door and the camera peered inside with her. The two people in the room was what looked like a fifteen year old Tony and his father.

"I don't want to go!" shouted the young boy.

"You are a minor, that is not your choice to make!" came the furious reply.

"Thats just it! I am a minor! I shouldn't be going to a college!"

"You will do what I tell you to!" Howard shouted, walking around the bed toward Tony. Tony went to walk around him, presumably to leave, but his father grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Tony glared at his father defiantly, any fear or disappointment they had seen in the younger versions gone and replaced by something else. Something that was world weary, and defient, that should not be seen in a fifteen year old kid. He jerked his arm free and took a step back.

"I don't. want. to. go. to. college." Tony said pointedly and defiantly, but quieter then he had spoken before, "Not now."

"You will do as I tell you to." Howard repeated.

"I don't want to get bullied. I've had enough of that!" Tony went to leave again.

Howard grabbed his son's hair and pulled him back. Tony cried out in surprise and almost fell to the ground. His father pulled Tony back in front of him, and grabbed his son's jaw tightly. Tony winced and tried to jerk away, but Howard's  grip was to tight, and only tightened when he tried to break free.

"Listen to me boy. I will ask MIT if you can still attend, and you can, you will. And if not..." Howard shook his head angrily, "You just better hope you still can."

Now Tony looked scared. Howard let go, and he fell to the floor. The older Stark kicked him and he rolled over onto his back. Then Howard headed to the door, pushed it open, past Maria, and down the hall. Cursing the whole way. Tony sat up and leaned against the bed, he closed his eyes for a moment, to calm down and control the pain. But, Tony couldn't control it, and he just threw the nearest thing to him across the room, where it slammed into his dresser and hit the floor.

"Tony?" His mother asked hesitantly.

"I'm fine." was all he said, before he got up, went into what looked to be his bathroom, and slammed the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Before any other parts of the video could start, Steve got up and ejected the video tape.

"We shouldn't be watching this, it isn't fair to Tony." he said as he dropped it back in the box.

"No. It isn't."

They all turned around, guilt and surprise written across their faces, mostly guilt. There was Tony, leaning in the doorway, with his arms crossed, and one leg crossed over the other. He almost looked casual, if not for the fact that anger was clearly written across his face and that there was hurt in his eyes.

"Tony, we-" Bruce began, but Tony interupted him.

"Save it." was all he said before he turned and left, heading down the hall in the direction of his workshop.

The team sat there in silence for a few minutes before Natasha spoke up.

"We should go talk to him. It's clear he's had a bad day, and we just made it worse. Things might be better if we apologize. And Clint..." Clint looked up at her and she continued, "You know, we may invade privacy for a living, but, not when a friend is concerned. Got it?"

Clint nodded, and since nobody said anything, they all got up one by one and very slowly, and headed out of the room.

"Jarvis? Where's Tony?" Bruce asked.

"In his workshop sir."

"Lets go then."

"I can't believe Howard could do such a thing. I knew him and he was never like that before." Steve said, his voice filled with disbelief.

"Well, people change Steve." Natasha said as they walked down the hall.

Soon they reached the elevator and took it down to the basement, which was Tony's renevated workshop. The walls were made of glass, and when they looked inside, they could see Tony sitting at a workbench working on something. He wasnt working in his usual fastpaced, energetic, creative way, but in a slow, way. As if he didn't even know what he was working on, and it didn't matter. After a moment he dropped what he was doing gently on the table and ran his hand over his face before resting his head in them. The A.I. must've alerted him to their presence, because a minute or so later, he turned around to look at them briefly before he said something they could not here and the windows went black. They could no longer see him. Bruce sighed, "Let's go. He doesn't wanna see us."

They all headed back upstairs. "What shall we do now?" Thor asked, his loud voice kind of subdued.

"He'll talk to us when he wants to." Bruce said.

"But he never confronts problems. He'll just hide down there." Steve pointed out.

"That just shows you little him. He always confronts his problems. He just needs to think on it for a while. Besides, he can't stay down there forever." Bruce said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his.

"That's right. And when he does come out, we'll be here for him." Natasha said firmly.

They all nodded and went to their seperate rooms. It was late, and none of them were in the mood for a movie night now.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony sighed as he sat alone in his workshop. He had been down here for two days. He knew he had to talk to them, but he just wasn't ready yet. It kind of was his fault, he shouldn't have left that box where they could find it without even having to look for it, in a house of _spies_. But, they didn't have to watch it.

"Sir," came the A.I.s voice, "Your team is worried about you, and they keep requesting to see you. Might I also add that your food supply is running low."

Tony sighed again, "Alright. I'll go up there."

"Thank you sir." Jarvis actually kind of sounded relieved.

He got up and headed out the glass doors, down the hall, and into the elevator. He really did not want to do this.

"What floor are they on?"

"They are in the common room, sir."

The elevator started moving at Jarvis' command, seeing as the A.I. already knew where he was going. Tony leaned against the back wall of the elevator. God, he did not want to do this.

The elevator came to a halt, and Tony hesitated for a moment before he pushed the button for the door to open. He took a step out of the elevator, the door shutting behind him, and halted when all the heads of his teammates turned to look at him. He took a deep breath and moved closer to the couches they were sitting on, nobody speaking a word. He sat down in an armchair off to the side, by himself. He knew it was a sign of... something, considering there was an open-space beside Clint, but he didn't care. He did not want to sit with them right now, besides he always sat by himself anyway. After a minute or so of silence, Clint decided to speak up.

"Tony, I... WE are sorry. We shouldn't have watched those videos without your permission."

"I hide things for a reason." was all he said, as he put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"You look at our private files all the time."

Tony looked up and dropped his hands, "No, Steve. I don't. You think I do, because I can hack the system and look if I wanted to. But I don't. How could I expect any of you to respect my privacy if I invade yours?"  
They were all silent for a moment so he continued, "I wrote burn on that box because I didn't ever want to have to see it, let alone you guys. I wanted it gone, but now its back again."

Steve started to say something, but Tony interupted him by putting up a finger, "You know what, Steve, I really don't want to talk to you right now."

"Why?" he said angrily, "Why'd you come up here if you won't talk?"

"I'll talk. I just don't want to deal with you right now."

"What did I do that I'm the only one you won't talk to?!" Steve defended, trying not to lose his temper. God! Tony could be very annoying.

"BECAUSE!" Tony shouted, then quieted down, "Because, we hate eachother. I hate you because my stupid father always wanted me to be you, and I couldn't. He always like you more. You hate me because you wish I could be more Howard, and I am not, and that disappoints you. Okay? When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be like you, so that maybe my dad would actually care about me. I am sick and tired of having people wanting me to be somebody I am not! Okay? Is that a good enough explanation for you? Or is it still not good enough?" he paused for a second then stood, "You know what, I'm just gonna go."

Before anybody could say anything, he was back in the elevator, probably heading back to his shop.

"Well, that explains a lot, doesn't it Cap?" Bruce said as he rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

"He'll come around." Clint said quietly, hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony hadn't gone to his shop like the team had thought, he went to his room. He didn't want to be down there right now. He had went into his room, and just on his bed, with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He wanted to talk to them, and he hadn't meant to snap at Cap. But just being around him makes Tony bristle, and then he had to go and start talking. God! It was all just a mess.

He hadn't been in his room very long when he heard a knock at his bedroom door. He had hoped it would take them longer to find him, then again, maybe Jarvis ratted him out. The traitor.

He got up and he walked to the door, then pressed his ear against it. "What?" he asked, not unkindly.

"It's Steve. Can I come in?"

Tony sighed, then after a minute or two of contemplation, he opened the door. Steve stood there, and smiled sadly. Tony nodded, and let Steve come in. The super soldier sat down in a chair that was by his desk, while Tony sat on the edge of his bed. They were silent for a few minutes before Tony spoke up.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."

"You don't need to apologize. You were just angry, we are the ones that owe you the apology. And, what you said, wasn't wrong. I had been trying to figure out for a while now, why I didn't like you, and you explained it." He rested his chin on his left hand, "I wanted a part of my old life back so bad, that I wanted you to be your father. I know it's wrong, and I am not making excuses, but honestly, I hadn't even realized that."

Tony didn't say anything, so Cap continued, "So, I wanted to ask you if we could start over. You be you, and I will accept that. And maybe we could try be being friends?"

Tony looked up at him that time, and, after a moment, smiled.

"Sure. I would actually like that. Who else gets to be friends with their childhood hero?"

Steve laughed, "Not very many people, I'd assume."

"We good?" Steve asked after a little while.

"Yeah. Thanks Capsicle."

Steve laughed, for the first time, at that nickname, "Wanna go back and see the others?"

Tony nodded, and they walked down the hall together. When they reached the common room, everybody turned to look at them again.

"So, you guys wanna order pizza and watch a movie?" Tony asked as he stood in the doorway.

"Sure. Sounds good." Clint said, smiling. He was just glad that it seemed as though Tony had forgiven him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!


End file.
